To entice Gay into being a guest, she began inviting other guests to her podcast that she knew Gay would be interested in. ❤️Ī post shared by Debbie Millman on at 2:18pm PSTĪutostraddle first reported Millman and Gay’s romantic relationship in June of this year, sharing that the two met when Millman reached out to Gay for her podcast “Design Matters.” Millman came out later in life and had a hard time connecting with the queer community. Roxane Gay and Debbie Millman are engaged.